Hotel Costes

Arrival & Reception

Our descent into Hotel Costes began with the doorman — or, rather, the architectural feature resembling a doorman. He was gracefully slumped against the wall, hands deeply invested in his pockets. A grunt that might have been a greeting barely registered on the Richter scale. Welcome to Hotel Costes, where enthusiasm goes to die.

Stepping inside, we was immediately transported…to Darth Vader’s chanbers. Dim lighting, oppressive décor — we half expected a Stormtrooper to ask me for my credentials. I guess “modern” is the new “uninviting”? The overall ambiance was less “warm embrace” and more “cold, impersonal interrogation chamber.”

The receptionist, dressed in what we generously assume was performance art, directed us to the terrace for a drink. She took our coats and, with the delicate grace of a linebacker, yeeted them onto a nearby chair. Clearly, coat storage wasn’t in her job description. Eye contact was optional, basic courtesy was a paid extra, and professional demeanor was still on back order, apparently.

The reception area itself was designed for maximum discomfort. Seating was sparse, hard, and generally unappealing. It was obvious lingering was frowned upon. Dim lighting and austere decor completed the “we don’t actually want you here” vibe.

Our reception set the tone: our comfort clearly wasn’t a priority. Forget warm welcomes; this was more like a brusque shoulder check.

Lobby comfort & Functionality

The outdoor patio, the terrace, presents a specific experience that’s important to consider when planning your visit. The space is clearly designed with a particular aesthetic in mind, which, while stylish, may not suit all needs.

The tables are small, a common feature in many Parisian establishments. While adequate for drinks and light snacks, they may prove challenging if you intend to work or dine extensively. The seating, while visually appealing, prioritizes style over extended comfort, making it more suitable for shorter visits rather than prolonged relaxation.

Heating is provided, which is appreciated during cooler weather. However, if you happened to be seated directly beneath one, you risked spontaneous combustion. Awareness of seating placement is key to optimizing your experience on the terrace.

The terrace is clearly a popular spot for socializing and people-watching. The ambiance encourages observation and interaction, rather than privacy or focused work. This atmosphere is a deliberate design choice that contributes to the terrace’s overall character.

For those seeking a workspace, it’s important to note that the terrace lacks readily available power outlets, making it unsuitable for laptop use that requires charging. Furthermore, the limited table space and open environment offer little in the way of confidentiality, making it an inappropriate venue for private business discussions. Unless you want all of Paris to know your business dealings, we suggest you find a more discreet location. You might as well announce your quarterly earnings with a megaphone.

The music selection however was a positive aspect of the terrace, contributing to the overall ambiance.